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• (228): View more from Mississippi

  I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.

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• (867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

  lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.

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• (516): View more from New York

  I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line

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• (631): View more from New York

  yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?

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• (509): View more from Washington

  Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I love you more with every blowjob.

  (1-202): View more from Washington, DC

  You should write for Hallmark.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Now back to adults eating hotdogs.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?

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• (858): View more from California

  They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard

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