Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.

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(314): I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt. http://tfl.nu/c3u1

Replies (4) Good night (625) Bad night (889)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.

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(732): I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame. http://tfl.nu/b4iy

Replies (10) Good night (1959) Bad night (3643)
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(614): View more from Ohio

It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.

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(614): It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask. http://tfl.nu/r7za

Replies (8) Good night (8116) Bad night (916)
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(631): View more from New York

well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore

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(631): well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore http://tfl.nu/6gwp

Replies (10) Good night (4416) Bad night (1266)
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(320): View more from Minnesota

I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.

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(320): I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on. http://tfl.nu/x1xg

Replies (21) Good night (6943) Bad night (1556)
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(863): View more from Florida

oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.

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(863): oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows. http://tfl.nu/dnld

Replies (14) Good night (1241) Bad night (2931)
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(731): View more from Tennessee

Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.

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(731): Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work. http://tfl.nu/qr42

Replies (6) Good night (2422) Bad night (849)
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(440): View more from Ohio

While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.

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(440): While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from. http://tfl.nu/t77t

Replies (19) Good night (1036) Bad night (1819)
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(813): View more from Florida

Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult

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(813): Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult http://tfl.nu/ufyx

Replies (6) Good night (1814) Bad night (483)
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(309): View more from Illinois

yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester

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(309): yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester http://tfl.nu/2w28

Replies (2) Good night (456) Bad night (959)
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(845): View more from New York

My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.

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(845): My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine. http://tfl.nu/uhg6

Replies (5) Good night (1200) Bad night (713)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.

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(503): Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun. http://tfl.nu/5we2

Replies (2) Good night (782) Bad night (265)
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(614): View more from Ohio

she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do

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(614): she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do http://tfl.nu/lofb

Replies (4) Good night (227) Bad night (892)
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(708): View more from Illinois

And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.

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(708): And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint. http://tfl.nu/orxk

Replies (4) Good night (484) Bad night (179)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.

(848): View more from New Jersey

No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.

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(732): I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab. (848): No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've. http://tfl.nu/k222

Replies (6) Good night (805) Bad night (153)

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