Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(925): View more from California

Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(925): Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen. http://tfl.nu/fkde

Replies (47) Good night (5653) Bad night (1519)
Favorite
(630): View more from Illinois

I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(630): I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People http://tfl.nu/8x4z

Replies (14) Good night (4638) Bad night (789)
Favorite
(609): View more from New Jersey

That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(609): That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets http://tfl.nu/cuwg

Replies (18) Good night (2564) Bad night (931)
Favorite
(831): View more from California

just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(831): just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf http://tfl.nu/faeb

Replies (53) Good night (17194) Bad night (1051)
Favorite
(202): View more from Washington, DC

He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(202): He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!" http://tfl.nu/yfbj

Replies (19) Good night (6691) Bad night (1386)
Favorite
(781): View more from Massachusetts

she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(781): she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped http://tfl.nu/pl2z

Replies (8) Good night (1876) Bad night (1069)
Favorite
(253): View more from Washington

I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(253): I just did a sobriety test in a tutu. http://tfl.nu/m861

Replies (5) Good night (3439) Bad night (874)
Favorite
(360): View more from Washington

Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(360): Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head. http://tfl.nu/n0gh

Replies (33) Good night (1355) Bad night (2991)
Favorite
(508): View more from Massachusetts

if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(508): if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis http://tfl.nu/xw63

Replies (5) Good night (1994) Bad night (678)
Favorite
(406): View more from Montana

He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(406): He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame. http://tfl.nu/fkng

Replies (8) Good night (709) Bad night (1232)
Favorite
(314): View more from Missouri

Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(314): Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night. http://tfl.nu/wauu

Replies (5) Good night (628) Bad night (1034)
Favorite
(250): View more from British Columbia

He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(250): He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea http://tfl.nu/7hkj

Replies (1) Good night (765) Bad night (388)
Favorite
(319): View more from Iowa

Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.

(1-319): View more from Iowa

And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(319): Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth. (1-319): And in your bra. It was quite entertaining. http://tfl.nu/axvu

Replies (1) Good night (702) Bad night (296)
Favorite
(318): View more from Louisiana

We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(318): We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember? http://tfl.nu/wwe6

Replies (3) Good night (481) Bad night (236)
Favorite
(585): View more from New York

The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(585): The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way. http://tfl.nu/4p5k

Replies (4) Good night (825) Bad night (153)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard