Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight

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  (313): I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight http://tfl.nu/ts9f
  Replies (2) Good night (715) Bad night (1148)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.

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  (515): Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life. http://tfl.nu/dizz
  Replies (60) Good night (711) Bad night (5105)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.

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  (256): Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade. http://tfl.nu/llb7
  Replies (25) Good night (20772) Bad night (1180)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.

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  (803): It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina. http://tfl.nu/hg6l
  Replies (37) Good night (9430) Bad night (1263)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.

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  (248): your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood. http://tfl.nu/qlw2
  Replies (18) Good night (6721) Bad night (1016)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..

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  (574): Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called.. http://tfl.nu/0u89
  Replies (13) Good night (1097) Bad night (3372)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...

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  (814): Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major... http://tfl.nu/yhqh
  Replies (9) Good night (2738) Bad night (1180)
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  (310): View more from California

  I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one

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  (310): I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one http://tfl.nu/kvjq
  Replies (12) Good night (910) Bad night (1864)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.

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  (630): Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms. http://tfl.nu/uuzs
  Replies (13) Good night (852) Bad night (2343)
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  (661): View more from California

  There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.

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  (661): There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind. http://tfl.nu/kx07
  Replies (9) Good night (1781) Bad night (657)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.

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  (575): She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on. http://tfl.nu/epik
  Replies (2) Good night (1788) Bad night (627)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.

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  (613): I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots. http://tfl.nu/b0ef
  Replies (2) Good night (787) Bad night (493)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!

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  (262): one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday! http://tfl.nu/b0h1
  Replies (2) Good night (672) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  He stood me up.

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.

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  (724): He stood me up. (724): I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone. http://tfl.nu/xslj
  Replies (3) Good night (635) Bad night (340)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections

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  (512): Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections http://tfl.nu/pu70
  Replies (3) Good night (150) Bad night (393)

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