omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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