she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
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even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
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Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.