i was rollin on her like bob the builder
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.