is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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