you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
