they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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