that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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