friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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