Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
