to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
