I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
