There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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