Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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