Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Houston, we have a blender
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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