Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
