Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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