That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
