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I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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