operation harelip BJ is a go
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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