its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
