holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Randomize
