I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize
