Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
