Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
