I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
