The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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