This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize