I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I forgot how hot balto sounded
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
