just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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