You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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