I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
