She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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