i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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