shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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