'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
