It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
