Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
