I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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