M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
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