Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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