Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
