He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize