i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
