Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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