Dude my mom stole all your condoms
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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