My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
