My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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