Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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