maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
