i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
