Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
The power of my boobs compel you
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
