Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
