The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
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Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
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someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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