Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
