i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
