Ambien. No doubt about it.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Two words: nipple clamps
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