her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
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he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
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Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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